Death Rink

Seriously though, how should a critic calibrate evaluation criteria for “Death Rink?” Allow me to explain the dilemma.The first clue that “Death Rink” exists in a unique realm of bad B-movies is that it comes from Wild Eye Releasing. After the unnoticed deaths of Brain Damage Films and Midnight Releasing, Wild Eye inherited the dubious distinction of being arguably the lowest level distributor in VOD horror. Every now and again, Wild Eye still surprises with a quirky piece of weirdness such as “President Wolfman” (review here). On the whole however, their catalog’s quality is heavy on the wrong seat of the good/bad seesaw, with some titles being so bargain basement, Wild Eye will seemingly put out anything that everyone else is unwilling to touch.Case in point: One of the worst films I’ve ever reviewed was “Paranormal Sex Tape” (review here), another Wild Eye release. The movie was gibberish in film form produced, directed, and written by ‘Dick Van Dark.’ Disguising his/her identity under a pseudonym turned out to be the only sensible decision this purported filmmaker made. “Paranormal Sex Tape” was such a slop bucket of random footage, blurry clips, and absentee audio that I speculated Mr. Van Dark possibly never intended to make a narrative feature. Maybe, “someone saw this collection of crap with a modest amount of nudity and a makeshift monster, acquired it for a nickel, and figured that even selling one DVD at $9.99 turns a profit.” In other words, maybe everyone involved took what little they could get because they didn’t care one way or another what happened to the “film.”